At our snow bird home on the Carolina coast,
when our full time neighbors wife,
a bit of a flake, but harmless,
slightly tippler by noon,
a face lifts permanent smile,
said to my wife,
“…and your husband, My Lands, he is just wonderful, bless his heart”,
my wife didn’t say,
“…well, at night, he sleeps with
a C-PAP breather,
snors if he naps during the day,
wears hearing aids,
don’t you know?
Is lactose intolerant,
has ‘moderate to severe arthritis’
in his right hip,
is blind in his right eye,
so has no depth perception,
Scares me to death
when he drives,
especially at night.
He gets so anxious sometimes,
Prone to depression to, you know.
Needs the little blue pill PRN,
(don’t say I said so).
AND takes the Lords name in vain
when he can’t open a new jelly jar,
and has just discovered he has
SVT, that is,
She just takes a deep breath and says,
“Isn’t he though!
Bless his heart!”