I’m offering a suggestion
to help you become a better runner
in the human race to get laid:
Create a long menu of delicious breakfasts.
– A dozen different omelettes .
(Shrimp and crap with mushrooms and Swiss
is one of my personal favorites.)
– Fresh spinach, sliced plum tomatoes and Brie
on a toasted corn muffin with salmon locks.
Poured from individual bags of grains, nuts, seeds…
(Sure, you can always get ready-made-mixed-in-boxes
like Cheerios or Grape-Nut-Flakes..)
just imagine this image:
There you are in your kitchen,
maybe in your shorts
or your apron
and not much else…
creating different natural wonders on your counter.
Spooning rasberries and blueberries
onto a bowl of wheat flakes and almonds
eating a big succulent one,
slowly wiping the juice,
from your lips…
with your fingers…
(or they if you’re really good and lucky)
stumble from your bedroom
all bleary-eyed and musty
from that hot-lovin’-feast
the night before.
(How you got them to your bed in the first place –
doesn’t matter now.
Let it be the subject of another poem,
is about how you can keep them with you
for a lovely-loving-late-morning
(Maybe right there in your kitchen,
on your table,
dishes and silverware
shoved aside in your passion.
on the thick carpet on your living-room-floor
if you can’t make it any further towards
your bed-room door…
back on your back on your still warm,
but well laid bed.)
breakfast keeps them where you want them to be.
For once they’re dressed and staggering up the block
to the neighborhood diner,
Bo Jangles for an egg and bacon bisket,
THAT’S THE END OF YOUR TRYST.
Because there’s always
essential stuff to do:
Football to watch.
Laundry to wash.
Grade papers if you’re a teacher.
write a sermon if you’re a preacher,
Write a poem
if you’ve been cursed by the Muse,
and the sex,
no matter how great it was
is SO OVER!!
A nice memory,
Keep ’em eating in your kitchen,
happy and well fed.
Then it’s just a simple re-seduction
to get them back in bed.
French Toast, perhaps…
with a toss of brown sugar…
(I’ll have what EVER she’s having…)
That hits the spot!
Get back on it!!
The taste of Grade-A-Fancy-Vermont-Maple-Syrup,
and a little sticky
on your tongue.