876 Planned Parenthood for young males 12-30-19

Sow all your wild oats
but not your semen
before you’re forty.

Don’t consider the
M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E word
before then
but enjoy the joy of your
singularity,

-to a point-

Ideally,
bring your virginity to the altar,
intact.
But,
lose your innocence
long before that!

“Just because you’re a virgin
doesn’t mean your a monk!”
quoth the Scot.

Then,
love and marry an older woman
whose previous husband was a
nice nothing.
If you cook, it’s a plus.
If you own a personality,
and you are a closet feminist,
you’re set.

But,

make sure she
is mother of older children,
preferably college grads,
or soon to be.
Slip them some cash,
now and then,
to buy a vacumm cleaner
or an original painting,
(something other than a poster
of Shena, Queen of the Jungle
in a tiger print thong….)
to hang on their apartments wall
just to further their domestic forays.

Then,
wait.

Wait, patiently,

for Grand Kids!
Your Grand Kids!

Be “Pop-Pop” or “Poppa Edgar”
to them.
Spoil them.
Brag about them.
Buy stuff for them.
Buy a nice house to retire to
(in a big development with three,
no, make that five pools)
far enough down South,
or West..
WHERE-EVER!!!
so any of those weekend baby-sitting requests
to you from Mommy and Daddy
“won’t you PLEASE!!!”
will be geographic impossibilities,

BUT,

the driving distance
TO your house
FROM their house
is “doable”…

Then,

Take the grands for two weeks
of their summer vacations
TO your house!
(And know to give them back
just a second or two before you
“CAN’T TAKE THEM ANYMORE!!!”)

Then,

Enjoy the
youth, energy, enthusiasm, frivolity, ridiculous hilarity
of your grand kids

without any of the angst
of having to raise your own…

AND THAT,
Gentleman,
is the true meaning of
PLANNED PARENTHOOD
and
it’s a great gig!

About Ken Greenman

Married and Happy. Retired and busy. Living in NC. 71 and counting. December 12, 2020 and it's 72! ... I would love some written comments, critiques, adulation or kind suggestions.... If you have the time and or inclination, please feel free! Not in fear but by faith. We will see. See you later! If you ever want to talk for real, email me and I will send you my cell number.... I am enjoying this!
This entry was posted in Poems. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to 876 Planned Parenthood for young males 12-30-19

  1. Benyapoesy says:

    Nice poem about the wicked calculations humans do. 🤎

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