877 The Validity of Memory Is In Question 01-07-2020

I have faith,
no more
in memories,
neither mine
nor those of others.
The brain clutches moments
in its angry or joyous hands
and with muscles
like a potter at the wheel
reshapes whatever happened,
that last second
or decades past,
over and over again,
as mind changes its mind.

So effective is that
gentle tweak
or raging contortion
that fealty to some real thing
desolves to hazy mist,
recalled as a layered mache’
rather than an accurate telling
of a twist in the gut.
Reality evaporates,
a morning fog dispelled
on a warming pond.

I do not trust that
excruciating or fond
remembered moment
when X did Y to me,
or, even less,
trust what I think
is the WHY of Y,
the motive behind,
now extinguished,
an ash flake.

All I have now,
truly,
is the fleeting hope I hold,
slippery,
like an eel in my hand,
that, maybe,
one brief spark
of one solitary synapse
among the billions in my brain,
is, somehow,
an answer to the ever asked question,
“What in hell really happened to me
that I am who I am?”

But I refuse to acquess
to a second guess.
Life is not what happens to us,
rather
what we chose to do
about what we
think
happened to us.

So as long as I can,
still,
I can use my power to chose.

And so I will.

About Ken Greenman

Married and Happy. Retired and busy. Living in NC. 71 and counting. December 12, 2020 and it's 72! ... I would love some written comments, critiques, adulation or kind suggestions.... If you have the time and or inclination, please feel free! Not in fear but by faith. We will see. See you later! If you ever want to talk for real, email me and I will send you my cell number.... I am enjoying this!
This entry was posted in Poems. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s