I just spilled blueberry juice
on my white henley at breakfast.
The shirt is ruined.
Never gonna get that stain out.
It’s doomed to be a “work ‘n sweat-shirt”
for the rest of its life.
But then I thought,
“Wait a second!
Fishermen have seagull-poop painted on fishing-caps!
Youngsters (15-35 years old)
wear pre-holed blue jeans!
(Some more holed than whole>)
Why not PRE-STAINED-DINNER-APPAREL?
Think of the artistic possibilities!
A heart-shaped-tomato-sauce puddle
dripped on the chest of your brand new Van Heusen.
A rainbow of fruit juices
flowing across the lap
of your white-cotton- sun dress.
oozed onto a taupe cashmere vest.
Wine drops keep falling’ on my tux!
Never worry again about
a dribbled faux pas
during your next dinner date.
Paint the stain on the garment
before you don it.
Enjoy all those first-kiss- selfies
without the sudden embarrassed pain
of a gravy stain
on your red silk shirt.
A never ending stream
of photos of yourself
without the whoops-factor.
There is historical precedent, you know.
Orgy-togas in ancient Rome
daubed in oil and vinegar and pesto.
And then, we will always have…